How nice, they are introducing Kelly as "singer Kelly Osbourne" rather than "reality star Kelly Osbourne", because that's kind of embarrassing.
They are talking about the top five and what everyone has to work on and again, everyone's criticism of Mya is entirely Dmitri's choreography, nothing about her at all, not one bit! Is this all a blind so that it won't be so obvious that she is the winner from week 1? That's my guess.
Mya and Dmitri do a quickstep that looked pretty classic to me, there might not be such horseshit from Len in the marks this time. And, after a fakeout where it sounded like he was going to shit all over her again, he said that there was nothing to criticize! Might we see a 10? And we did!
The hateful Aaron, who will be whining in the rehearsal footage about being in the bottom three again, I have no doubt. Ah, and they are trying to make him seem like not such a dick by him saying sadly how he's never won anything in his life and him being all caring about Karina being sick. Somebody's noticed that the audience hates him! They are doing the foxtrot, and for some reason Karina is dressed as Jeannie out of the bottle. Yay, low scores!
Now Joanna is doing the quickstep. Derek is dressed like a waiter on a cruise ship. That was pretty good, but Mya's was better, I don't think she'll be getting a 29. Her legs seemed very stiff. Not good judges remarks, but hopefully she'll get higher marks than Aaron did. Nope, exactly the same!
Okay, here's my girl Kelly, whom I think is likely to go this week, although I'd love it if she held up until the semis! She and Louis are doing a really smooth foxtrot. He's one of the best choreographers of the pros, no question. He's like Cheryl, he doesn't try to outdance his partner, he dances with her. The judges like it, though Carrie-Ann noticing what I did, that she doesn't spot her turns.
Donny is visibly thinner than he was in week 1. It's the Dancing With the Stars diet! He and Kym are doing the waltz. Donny is better than any of the rest of them at getting into the character of the dance. He sells it facially every time. That sounds like damning with faint praise, but it's actually big praise. Dancing is acting and if you make the audience believe the characters, the story and the relationship, that's half the battle.
Now they are all going to do a Latin dance, each in a different decade, because otherwise they'd never fill two hours with only five couples.
Mya and Dmitri and Dmitri's fake moustache are doing a 70's style samba. Let me tell you, for people whom I do not believe were actually born in the 1970s, that was one decently authentic disco-style dance. It was right out of American Bandstand, circa 1976. Wow, and there was the first perfect 30 of the season! I would like to congratulate the surgeon who removed the stick from Len's ass.
Aaron is doing a 90's samba, and is teaching Karina 90's moves. There were 90's moves? I wasn't paying much attention in the 90's, I guess. And they danced to that Spin Doctors song! I may not have paid attention to the moves, but that was the last time I liked any popular music.
Joanna and Derek are doing a paso from the future. Why does the future always mean emotionless robots? But you know what? Totally one of the best dances of the night. And the judges not only agree with me, they are all kvelling all over Derek's awesome choreography. Tom says, "Tonight we have learned that in the future we'll dance really well, but we're going to look ridiculous." I freaking love Tom.
Kelly's doing a jive in the Latin round? Since when is the jive a Latin dance? Samba, rhumba, paso double, tango, yes, jive? Really? She's teaching Louis go-go moves, actual authentic go-go moves! To a man who was born a lot closer to the 60's than she was! The thing is, when people think of the 70's or the 80's they think of one thing, for the 60's you can go in several different directions, but because Kelly is British they went in the more interesting direction, i.e. early 60's Mary Quant/Twiggy style. They're a couple of Mods up there! As someone who dated a Mod throwback in the 80's, it all looks very sweet and familiar. However, they are dancing to "River Deep, Mountain High", which doesn't match the look. And Len is gonna HATE the prop use! They throw in some pony and some swim and some twist steps. Though this is all my style, this Hullaballoo stuff, I don't think this is Kelly's best work. Though all of the judges disagree with me, which I'm glad about! Love the Kelly!
Donny as Adam Ant is doing an 80's paso. Kym is dressed Madonna style, which everyone remembers, of course, but no-one remembers the awesome Adam Ant look. O God, they are doing it to "You Turn Me Round"! Great song choice! Seems slowed down a little, though. Man, I loved the Latin Round of Various Eras, I think it was my favourite thing this whole season.
So the order of the evening is Mya (at only one point off of perfect), then Joanna, Kelly and Donny/Aaron tied. Seven points separate Mya and Joanna, but after Mya the other four are only two points apart.
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